Saturday, June 26, 2010


Life has been so hectic lately.

I'll start with the night job I guess- In the middle of May I found out I'm getting laid off in 12-18 months. Which totally sucks but now I have no excuse to go back to school.
Which brings me to school I want to go back to school but I dont know what I want to major in. Do I stick with Early Childhood Ed or Computers? That is one of the things holding me back from finishing school.

Hopefully come July 12 I will have a date for my surgery for my bladder!!!!!!!!!! Which is very scary- its a HUGE chapter in my life that will be closing- which I'm totally excited and ready for it is still scary.

Pat and I are doing good ok. I've been very bitchy lately and very insecure about the whole relationship thing- which is putting a strain I feel on my end and I'm trying to work on talking to him about it but its hard. I dont know what is going to happen- I love him but I have doubts. I feel as though I dont have anyone to talk to about these doubts though. I feel so alone. I dont know if these doubts are because of my past (lack of) relationships or what.

I'm supposed to be so happy in love but lately all I end up doing is crying. I dont know if my antidepressants needs to be upped- I had decreased the dosage in April or if I'm just hormonal.

Speaking of hormonal, having a period for eleven days while on the pill is so not cool. I'm so tired of having a period. Its awful! I have to call the GYN on Monday and my psych dr to see whats up because none of this is cool!