Saturday, June 26, 2010


Life has been so hectic lately.

I'll start with the night job I guess- In the middle of May I found out I'm getting laid off in 12-18 months. Which totally sucks but now I have no excuse to go back to school.
Which brings me to school I want to go back to school but I dont know what I want to major in. Do I stick with Early Childhood Ed or Computers? That is one of the things holding me back from finishing school.

Hopefully come July 12 I will have a date for my surgery for my bladder!!!!!!!!!! Which is very scary- its a HUGE chapter in my life that will be closing- which I'm totally excited and ready for it is still scary.

Pat and I are doing good ok. I've been very bitchy lately and very insecure about the whole relationship thing- which is putting a strain I feel on my end and I'm trying to work on talking to him about it but its hard. I dont know what is going to happen- I love him but I have doubts. I feel as though I dont have anyone to talk to about these doubts though. I feel so alone. I dont know if these doubts are because of my past (lack of) relationships or what.

I'm supposed to be so happy in love but lately all I end up doing is crying. I dont know if my antidepressants needs to be upped- I had decreased the dosage in April or if I'm just hormonal.

Speaking of hormonal, having a period for eleven days while on the pill is so not cool. I'm so tired of having a period. Its awful! I have to call the GYN on Monday and my psych dr to see whats up because none of this is cool!

1 comment:

  1. 11 days? that's awful! I hope the GYN can figure that out for you.. maybe a different pill might help..

    Try not to worry about your relationship too much. I know it's hard, and I'm struggling with the same thing too... but as long as you're having a good time, it doesn't matter if it lasts 2 more weeks or 2 more years or 2 more decades or whatever... This is what I keep telling myself too... for me it's like I can see the inevitable end coming in a year when I go home, but I'm happy enough now, so I guess that's all that matters. I could die in a car accident tomorrow and I don't want to have wasted that time worrying about silly things that might happen in the future....